The Loony Bin ( )
Sun, 2 Jan 2000 01:55:31 +0000

Hiya Loonies...

Here are some dreadful redneck jokes...

Wishes & Dreams...


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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Did you hear about the Redneck who passed away and left his entire
estate in trust for his beloved widow? 
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a Redneck?
The good ol' boy raises livestock. The Redneck gets emotionally

What's the most popular pick up line in Arkansas?
"Nice Tooth"

Best Bar pick line in Arkansas
"Hey, you don't sweat much for a fat broad."

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba
that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "at the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me."
After a long pause, Bubba said "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street,
and you pick her up there."
How do you know when you are staying in an Arkansas Hotel? 
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and
operator says "go ahead."
How can you tell if a Redneck is married?
There are tobacco stains on both sides of his pick up truck.

What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
In Virginia, moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.

What is a Redneck's best defense in Court?
"Honest, your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."
Did you hear they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia
to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of high schools.
What do they call "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?
A documentary.

What do they call it in West Virginia?
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
How many Rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?"
Two. One to eat and one to watch for cars.

Why did God invent armadillos?
So that Rednecks can have 'possoms on the half shell.
Research has gone on for many years as to the source of the invention of
the toothbrush. Researchers knew the purpose but it was only after a
very long and exasperating study they came to the conclusion that the
origin had to have been West Virginia. Intrigued by this conclusion, the
media inquired further. Researchers had all agreed by simple deduction.
If the toothbrush had been invented anywhere else, it would have been
called a "teethbrush." 

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