The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 22 Nov 2000 04:36:34 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More help from overseas...I've seen several versions of this one doing
the rounds...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA
and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we
hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective
today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories including New
Jersey.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply
with the following acts:
1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75).
Start spelling English words correctly.
2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"
3. Start referring to "soccer" as football
4. Declare war on Quebec and France
5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason
6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby
7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train waitresses
to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names
before you eat.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced with
November 5th.
9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take
6 weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks.
10. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect
the change immediately.
11. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your new
passport and job allocation.
12. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrews Bedchamber.
13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument - and
the Queens Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial.
14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it
the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.
15. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you
shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to
1776)."
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