From a woman's perspective...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Tue, 11 Aug 1998 02:15:29 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

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Hiya People...

Here's a view of men from a woman's perspective...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

         Womens' Little Book of Instructions

1.  Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because
the house was spotless.

2.  Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.

3.  Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

4.  What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the
door.

5.  So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

6.  If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put
them all there.

7.  Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.

8.  Never let your man's mind wander. It's too little to be let
out alone.

9.  The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators
can't dance or buy drinks.

10. Never sleep with a man who's named his penis.

11. Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature
anyway.

12. A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest
Gump is unquestionably gay.

13. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you
can tell them apart.

14. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the
opportunity to make some woman miserable.

15. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-
yourself types.

16. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they
are too old for it.

17. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

18. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

19. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40
years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

20. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him
checkbooks.

21. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually "Oh all right,
I'll stay the night."

22. Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't
even bother to have lunch with.

23. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him
jokes, it means you laugh at his.

24. If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just
practicing.

25. Sadly, all men are created equal.

26. When he asks you if he's your first, tell him "You may be,
you look familiar."
 
 
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
  
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her,
stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold
her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her,
listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to
the ends of the earth for her....
  
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
 
Show up naked.


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