The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 30 Jul 1997 18:57:12 +0100
Hiya People...
Here's a lesson in geek theology...sent in by Shelley...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero.
On the first day, he toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was.
(In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and
"active low" signals didn't yet exist.)
On the second day, God's boss wanted a demo, and tried to read
the bit. This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And the
universe wasn't. God learned the importance of backups and memory
refresh, and spent the rest of the day (and his first all-nighter)
reinstalling the universe.
On the third day, the bit cried "Oh, Lord! If you exist, give me a
sign!" And God created rev 2.0 of the bit, even better than the
original prototype. Those in Universe Marketing immediately
realized that "new and improved" wouldn't do justice to such a grand
and glorious creation. And so it was dubbed the Most Significant Bit.
Many bits followed, but only one was so honored.
On the fourth day, God created a simple ALU with 'add' and 'logical
shift' instructions. And the original bit discovered that -- by
performing a single shift instruction -- it could become the Most
Significant Bit. And God realized the importance of computer security.
On the fifth day, God created the first mid-life kicker, rev 2.0 of
the ALU, with wonderful features, and said "Forget that add and shift
stuff. Go forth and multiply." And God saw that it was good.
On the sixth day, God got a bit overconfident, and invented pipelines,
register hazards, optimizing compilers, crosstalk, restartable
instructions, microinterrupts, race conditions, and propagation
delays. Historians have used this to convincingly argue that the
sixth day must have been a Monday.
On the seventh day, an engineering change introduced Windows into
the Universe, and it hasn't worked right since.