Darwin Awards...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Thu, 22 May 1997 00:16:29 +0100


Hiya All...

Here are some more Darwin Award nominations...sent in by Alan...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***<bloodaxe@bigfoot.com>***
***                                                 ***
***                 THE LOONY BIN                   ***
***           loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk          ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
***                                                 ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
     
NOMINEE #10 [1/29/96 The News of the weird.] JOINT NOMINEE
     
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously in 1989. He
had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a
murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. 
In March 1989, sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to 
fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
     
On Jan. 1, 1997, Laurence Baker, also a convicted murderer once on death
row, but later serving a life sentence at the state prison in
Pittsburgh, Pa., was electrocuted by his homemade earphones as he
watched his small TV while sitting on his metal toilet.
     
NOMINEE #11 ["The Indianapolis Star", Wed., Dec. 4, 1996].
     
A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a 
muzzleloader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his 
face, sheriff's investigators said.  Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in
his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said
Pryor was cleaning  a .54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing 
properly.  He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the 
gunpowder ignited.
     
NOMINEE #12 [AP, Mammoth Lakes]
     
A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth 
Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad, authorities 
said. Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead at Centinela Mammoth 
Hospital.  The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's 
Department said.  Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski 
run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from the 
lift towers, said Lieutenant Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police 
Department.  The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit the 
towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope 
and Hubal crashed into a tower. It was not clear if the tower he hit was 
one with its pad removed. "With the cold temperatures, the snow was 
probably pretty fast," said Donnelly.
     
NOMINEE #13 [Reuters, Warsaw, Poland, 5 May 1995]
     
A poacher electrocuting fish in a lake in central Poland fell into the 
water and suffered the same fate as his quarry, police said Thursday. 
The 24-year-old man was one of four who went fishing with a cable, one 
end of which they attached to a net and the other to a high-voltage 
electricity supply line, the PAP news agency quoted a police official in 
Wloclawek as saying. "For a while everything went according to the 
poachers' plan and they had fish in their bags. But at a certain
moment the man holding the net tripped and  fell into the water," the 
agency said. The other poachers tried in vain to revive him, it said.
     
NOMINEE #14 [AP, St. Louis]
     
Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. 
When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, 
shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it. Police 
found him unconscious in front of the store: paramedics removed the 
six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death.
     
NOMINEE 15 [Unknown]
     
To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an 
overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
     
NOMINEE 16 [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA]
     
Blasting Cap Explodes in Man's Mouth at Party.  A man at a party popped 
a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that
blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday.
Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a 
party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.Payne. "Another man had it in an 
aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it," Payne 
said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said, 'I'll show you how to set 
it off'. I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne 
said.
     
NOMINEE #17 [Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 1-1-93]
     
In December near Mineral Wells, Tex., three men who were attempting to 
steal copper wire off live electrical lines for resale were
electrocuted.  Copper wiring is a valuable scrap metal in Texas but is 
usually stolen from electric cables that are not being used.

Here are some people that may be future nominees/winners, but still 
haven't made it to the "Big Leagues"
     
[UPI, Portland, OR]
     
Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man 
shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive, and will 
be released soon from the hospital.  Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right 
eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, 
Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass, Ore. A friend tried to shoot a 
beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors
said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel
would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly.
     
Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland 
said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip 
protruding at the rear of his skill, yet somehow managed to miss all 
major blood vessels. Delashaw also said had Robert tried to pull the 
arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself.  Roberts 
admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon.
 Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."
     
No charges have been filed but the Josephine County district attorney's 
office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.
     
VANCOUVER (CP)
     
A man arguing over a love triangle accidently shot himself in the groin, 
taking off his testicles and part of his penis. Police said the man was 
waving a .357 Magnum revolver around during the shouting match early 
yesterday. But when he stuffed it back in his pants the gun went off. 
Police were called to the hospital after the man in his 20s was brought 
in by friends. Charges are pending against the victim, who is expected 
to survive.
     
Arkansas Democrat Gazette, July 25, 1996:
     
Two local men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the 
road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early
Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the
accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc 
and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition
at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were
returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday
night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men
concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned
out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
.22 caliber  bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next
to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights
again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on east-bound
toward the White River bridge.
     
After traveling approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the 
river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in 
the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting the 
pavement and striking a tree.
     
Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will 
require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken 
clavicle  and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that 
bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off or we might both be dead" stated 
Wallis.
     
"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this 
is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this 
accident happened", said Snyder.
     
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many 
frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.