Darwin Awards...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Mon, 12 Aug 1996 13:04:13 +0100


Hiya People...

This one's from Alan...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
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***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
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******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Darwin Awards
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  
These are nearly always granted posthumously. This citation is bestowed
upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-
sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the
human gene pool.

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[San Jose Mercury News]
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the 
gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
  
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[Hickory Daily Record, 12-21-92]
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December 
in Newton, N. C., when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone 
beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & 
Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
  
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[News of the Weird, 18 May 93, San Jose Mercury News]
A 24-year-old salesman from Hialeah, Fla., was killed near Lantana, 
Fla., in March when his car smashed into a pole in the median strip of 
Interstate 95 in the middle of the afternoon. Police said that the man 
was traveling at 80 MPH and, judging by the sales manual that was 
found open and clutched to his chest, had been busy reading.
  
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[Unknown, 25 March 1993] A Vapid Death
  
A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the 
death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his 
body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His
diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other
things). It was just the right combination of foods.

It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing from the
poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or 
had his windows opened it wouldn't have been fatal but the man was shut
up in his near airtight bedroom. He was "...a big man with a huge
capacity for creating [this deadly gas]." Three of the rescue workers
got sick and one was hospitalized.

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[Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]
Man slips, falls 23 stories to his death.
  
A man cleaning a bird feeder on his balcony of his condominium apartment
in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death, police
said Monday.

Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair Sunday when the
accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel regional 
police.
  
"It appears the chair moved and he went over the balcony," Honer said. 
"It's one of those freak accidents. No foul play is suspected."
  
[I believe that he meant "No *FOWL* play is suspected."]

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[UPI, Toronto]
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown 
Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged
24 floors to his death.

A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the 
Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining 
the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students.
  
Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according
to police reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm Holden
Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best
and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

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[Times of London]
A thief who sneaked into a hospital was scarred for life when he tried 
to get a suntan.
  
After evading security staff at Odstock Hospital in Salisbury,
Wiltshire, and helping himself to doctors' paging devices, the thief 
spotted a vertical sunbed. He walked into the unit and removed his 
clothes for a 45-minute tan.
  
However, the high-voltage UV machine at the hospital, which is renowned
for its treatment of burns victims, has a maximum dosage of ten seconds.
After lying on the bed for almost 300 times the recommended maximum time
the man was covered in blisters.

Hours later, when the pain of the burns became unbearable, he went to 
Southampton General Hospital, 20 miles away,in Hampshire. Staff became 
suspicious because he was wearing a doctor's coat. After tending his 
wounds they called the police.
  
Southampton police said: "This man broke into Odstock and decided he 
fancied a quick suntan. Doctors say he is going to be scarred for 
life."
  
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[AP, Cairo, Egypt, 31 Aug 1995] CAIRO, Egypt (AP) -- Six people 
drowned Monday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a 
well in southern Egypt.
  
An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He
drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down,
police said.

His sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one 
by one to help him, but also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to 
help, but they apparently were pulled down by the same undercurrent.
  
The bodies of the six were later pulled out of the well in the village 
of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo.
  
The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.