The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 24 Jul 1996 04:44:51 +0100
Hiya Loonies... Here's a guide to interpreting those teacher reports... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- ITS REPORT TIME Its school report time again. Are you having difficulty determining exactly what is meant by those phrases written about your Johnny's progress? Sure, it seems school reports are "packed with platitudes" to make deciphering impossible, but if you can "crack the code" about your child, look at what new understanding you can gain: satisfactory progress ............ I can't think of a single interesting thing about him easy going ....................... runs a protection racket lively ........................... bone idle good progress .................... If you think his work is bad now, you should have seen it a year ago. a sensitive child ................ never stops whining helpful .......................... creep reliable ......................... grasses on his mates adventurous ...................... will break his neck before the year's out has difficulty in forming relationships .................... I can't stand him either expresses himself confidently .... cheeky little bastard enjoys all PE activities ......... thug has had a lot of minor illnesses . truants regularly friendly ......................... never shuts up easily distracted ................ hasn't produced a single piece of good work all year works better in a small group .... daren't take my eyes off him for a second imaginative ...................... lies and cheats regularly needs praise & encouragement ..... thick as two short planks expresses himself clearly ........ foul-mouthed keen to do well .................. egotistical does not accept authority easily . Dad's doing time is easily upset .................. spoilt rotten often appears tired .............. stays up till all hours watching horror movies or is into glue sniffing works better at practical activities ............. totally illiterate good with his hands .............. light-fingered a rather solitary child .......... smells or has nits independent-minded ............... totally obstinate determined ....................... completely lacking all scruples inclined to day-dream ............ in one ear and out the other a good sense of humour ........... teases other kids unmercifully a quiet child .................... lacking any individuality whatsoever easily influenced ................ the form fall-guy popular at the Play Centre ....... sells pornography a vivid imagination .............. never short of an excuse a very inquisitive mind .......... often caught playing Doctors & Nurses does not give classes his full attention ............... smokes in the lavatories often needs guidance ............. never out of the Principal's office