The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 17 May 1996 10:51:52 +0100
Hiya Loonies...
Here's another collection of kids' bloopers for you...
Wishes & Dreams...
- A
xx
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*** THE LOONY BIN ***
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******************Internet Goddess*******************
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------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
The following are questions and answers from the pupils of Brentwood
County High School, where I teach science. They reveal a wide variety
of common errors from the funny guess to the complete misunderstanding
of the subject.
Q: Name a pollutant and its source:
A: Weels from a motorway.
Q: Is crude oil pure or a mixture?
A: Pure, because its on its own.
A: Pure, because it is nateral.
Q: Why will this nail rust?
A: If air get to a nail it will go rusty because air is really water.
A: If drying agent fell from the sky it would crush your car, not rust
it!!!!
Q: What is meant by "endangered species"?
A: It is soon to be killed off.
A: It means that it is dangerous.
Q: When the [cooling] experiment was repeated with thicker glass flasks,
cooling took longer. Why?
A: Because the heat had to conduct itself through a much thicker
distance, which took a lot longer.
Q: Where do you find the colours of a spectrum?
A: In a Rambow.
Q: [On digestion] What is the reaction between acids and antacids
called?
A: Relief
Q: Why does it take longer to cook a potato on top of a mountain?
A: Because the potato is at least 1000 feet above the ground.
A: It takes longer because of convection. It has to rise all the way
up, and this takes some time.
Q: What is the unit of resistance?
A: Homes (H).
Q: The journey from Preston to Carlisle to Preston always takes longer
than the journey from Preston to Carlisle. Suggest why this is so.
A: The train driver would be tired.
Q: Explain the conservation of momentum, and how it applies to a space
rocket.
A: The conservation of momentum means the conservation of force at which
the rocket is propelled into the atmosphere. This is important to
consider when considering rocket propulsion and collision (!) as too
much momentum could result quite seriously.
Q: [On crude oil] What non-energy uses are there for oil?
A: Cooking.
Q: Describe the function of the cell membrane.
A: It keeps the cell warm.
Q: How is eye colour etc. passed on to the next generation?
A: The jeans (not Levis).
Q: Describe how the egg cell is specialised.
A: The egg is round so it is easier to get down the tube, because if it
was square there would be a problem.
Q: What should medical workers wear when dealing with accidents
involving large amounts of blood?
A: The should wear gloves and a suit.
Q: A car is able to move, and can perform 3 life processes. What are
they?
A: Speak (hooter).
A: Reproduce.
A: Gets old.
A: Turn.
Q: There are three life processes that a car cannot carry out, so it
cannot be a living thing. Which processes does a car not carry out?
A: Wink
A: Sleep.
A: Jump in the air.
Q: [On periscopes] How do the two mirrors make it work?
A: The objects goes into the top mirror. It then gets reflected into
the second one
A: Your eyes hit the mirror.
Q: [On a valley flooded by a dam] Give two problems that the rabbits
might have after they have moved.
A: They might not be able to get a good water supply, or an open space
for them to play.
Q: Describe changes in the weather which could lead to a decrease in
evaporation from oceans.
A: There could be a drought, so there wouldn't be any water in the
oceans to evaporate.
Q: What liquid goes round the body?
A: Liquid nitrogen.
A: Sodium hydrogen carbonate.
Q: Why can camels walk on sand better than horses?
A: Because camels have flat, webbed feet.
[An answer given by a year 11 top set pupil in a mock-GCSE question on
radiation]
The grill radiates food by heating and killing off or decaying the
molecules in the food.
Q: From a given list of ingredients [for a fizzy drink], give an example
of ingredients that are normally solid, liquid and gas.
A: Solid - Cheese
Liquid - Milk
Gas - Air.