Bad Writing Contest...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Thu, 16 May 1996 12:01:32 +0100


Hiya Loonies...

See what you think of these...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

ps...Re: Hollywood and computers - Karla has pointed out that there was
one omission from the list, and I must admit to having wondered about
this myself - why is there only ever one copy of a microfilm, DAT or
floppy that everyone is trying to get hold of (the examples she gives
are from James Bond, Xfiles and The Net)...???...and why is it that when
anyone obtains the said item they assume they have the only copy...???
-- 
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
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***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
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******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

(from a UPI article in the Boston Globe, 9 May 88)

Here are the winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing
Contest, "the Baltimore Orioles of literary competitions."  The contest
is named after the author of the immortal lines:  "It was a dark and
stormy night."  The object of the contest is to write the opening
sentence to the worst possible novel.  
   
The big winner is Rachel Sheeley, 20, a student at Franklin College,
Ohio.  
   
"Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was
sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, 
which was as warm as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, 
her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads 
of fresh rain on the hood; she was a woman driven - fueled by a single 
accelerant - and she needed a man, a man who wouldn't shift from his 
views, a man to steer her along the right road: a man like Alf Romeo."
   
She won a word processor for her effort.
   
Runners up include: Claudia Fields of Santa Barbara:
   
"The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would
never see her little dog Pritzi again."
   
And from Jeff Jahnke, McMinnville, Oregon:
   
"It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -
perhaps a tumor or a metabolic deficiency - but after a thorough 
neurological exam it was determined that Byron was simply a jerk."