You might be an engineer if....

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Wed, 1 May 1996 00:11:43 +0100


Hiya all...

This came from a goddess...the moment I started reading it I thought
'how true'...and then I thought 'hang on, rather a lot of these are true
of me and I'm supposed to be a historian'...oh well, that's life...:-)

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx
-- 
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
***                                               ***
***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
***                                               ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded message follows -------


>YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF...
> 
> 
>If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife".
> 
>If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE.
> 
>If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
> 
>If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
> 
>If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
> 
>If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car.
> 
>If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
>hanging coats and taping ducts.
> 
>If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to
>find the burnt-out bulb in the string.
> 
>If you window shop at Radio Shack.
> 
>If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
> 
>If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
>that actually takes five minutes to run.
> 
>If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door
>opener and your camera's flash attachment.
> 
>If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
> 
>If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
> 
>If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.
> 
>If a team of you and your coworkers have set out to modify the antenna
>on the radio in your work area for better reception.
> 
>If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid.
> 
>If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
> 
>If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
> 
>If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
> 
>If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
> 
>If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
>tires.
> 
>If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
>own turns bread into charcoal.
> 
>If you have more toys than your kids.
> 
>If you need a checklist to turn on the TV.
> 
>If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
> 
>If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
> 
>If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush
>up to the front to fix it.
> 
>If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
> 
>If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel
>and have seen most of the shows already.
> 
>If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN
>stands for.
> 
>If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
>with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up
>thinking that was normal.
> 
>If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
> 
>If people groan at the party when you pick out the music.
> 
>If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time.
> 
>If you did the sound system for your senior prom.
> 
>If your checkbook always balances.
> 
>If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her.
> 
>If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
> 
>If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
> 
>If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
>controllers.
> 
>If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.
> 
>If you spend more on your home computer than your car.
> 
>If you know what http:// stands for.
> 
>If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
> 
>If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your
>garage.
> 
>If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest
>satellite weather picture with yours.
> 
>If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
>explain atmospheric absorption theory.
> 
>If your lap-top computer costs more than your car.