The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Sun, 27 Oct 02 01:24:55 +0100
Hiya Loonies...
Marriage once again...this time the secrets of a successful one...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com *******
Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last
-------------------------------------------------------
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine,
some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in
B.C.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested
the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread
maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to
sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water
in the carburettor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the
lake."
8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember...Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.
12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.
14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I
said, 'Dust!"
15. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man
and rested. Then God created woman... Since then, neither God nor
man has rested.
16. Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.
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