The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Sat, 6 Jan 2001 17:37:18 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya Loonies...
This one's a tribute to all the hard-working folks who are dog rescue
volunteers...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
RESCUE BARBIE
This holiday season, give the latest, hottest new Barbie: the K-9 Rescue
Barbie!.
Barbie comes with her own Ford Aerostar van. Standard equipment includes
crates, food and water dishes and poop bags. Barbie is decked out in
grungy jeans, grungier athletic shoes, and a tee-shirt that says "Dogs
are better than any other living thing on earth, including Ken".
She has a cell phone that's just barely working due to over-use and
under-payment. She also comes with a road atlas of every town and state
in all of North America and a map pinpointing every McDonalds in the
country.
Optional is the special Rescue Dog Barbie laptop computer with the names
and email addies of every other dog rescue person on earth, in case she
gets somewhere and a contact fails to show up.
Her running buddy, "Lucky", the three-legged, blind Shih Tzu doll, is
available for an additional $ 49.95. For $89.95, you can complete the
set with "Pissed off husband at home Ken" and multiple special needs
foster dogs at $20 each.
Other accessories are:
a.. Fake snow falling on Barbie's van: $12.95
b.. Flat tire for Barbie's van: (see "Barbie's Road Service")
c.. Barbie's First Aid Kit: (human): $11.75, (canine): $69.50
d.. Barbie's Speeding Ticket: $95 (Mississippi: $195)
e.. Barbie's Coat-that-she-had-to-buy-in-Minnesota: $85
f.. Barbie's Vet Bill for Lucky in Vaughn NM: $63.45
g.. Barbie's contact, Rhonda, to whom she had to give gas money in
Santa Fe
h.. Barbie's bill to get her contact, Luis, out of jail in
Bakersfield, CA: $500.
i.. Barbie's bill to get Luis's dogs out of the pound in
Bakersfield: $265.
j.. Barbie's hotel/kennel bill in Laughlin, NV, while she waits
for her contact: $532.
k. Pizza for Barbie's suspicious looking hitch-hiker with sick
puppy: $15
l. Vet bill for hitch-hikers sick puppy in Des Moines: $143.29
m. Barbie's doggie wheelchair for "Klaus", the rescue dachshund in
Kansas.
n. Barbie's van detailing/fumigation from hauling parvo dog: $187
o. Barbie's resume to get a "real" job when she gets home from
run: $229.95
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
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