The Loony Bin
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loonies@bloodaxe.com
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Wed, 19 Jan 2000 16:10:41 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya Folks...
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Let's read an historical document that has recently come to light...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
A REPLY FROM ENGLAND
Most of us assume that history is correct, and that following our
"Declaration of Independence" the US and the British Empire went to war.
Well, not quite, below for your perusal is a document just declassified
by the US Federal Giver-ment.
It seems the "Total Quality Management" methods/approach are not quite
as recent as we thought. King George appears to have had his own TQM
'facilitator'.
The Court of King George III London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson:
We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest.
Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your
statements do merit serious consideration.
Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted
specifications for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the
document to you for further refinement. The questions which follow might
assist you in your process of revision:
In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature and
Nature's God."
* What are these laws ?
* In what way are they the criteria on which you base your central
arguments ?
* Please document with citations from the recent literature.
In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind."
* Whose polling data are you using? Without specific evidence, it seems
to us the "opinions of mankind" are a matter of opinion.
You hold certain truths to be "self-evident". Could you please
elaborate. If they are as evident as you claim then it should not be
difficult for you to locate the appropriate supporting statistics.
"Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" seem to be the goals of
your proposal. These are not measurable goals. If you were to say that
among these are:
* the ability to sustain an average life expectancy in six of the 13
colonies of at least 55 years
* to enable newspapers in the colonies to print news without outside
interference
* to raise the average income of the colonists by 10 percent in the next
10 years
for example, these could be measurable goals. Please clarify.
You state that "Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of
these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and
to institute a new Government..."
* Have you weighed this assertion against all the alternatives?
* What are the trade-off considerations?
Your description of the existing situation is quite extensive. Such a
long list of grievances should precede the statement of goals, not
follow it. Your problem statement needs improvement.
Your strategy for achieving your goal is not developed at all. You state
that the colonies "ought to be Free and Independent States," and that
they are "Absolved from All Allegiance to the British Crown."
* Who or what must change to achieve this objective?
* In what way must they change?
* What specific steps will you take to overcome the resistance?
* How long will it take?
We have found that a little foresight in these areas helps to prevent
careless errors later on. How cost-effective are your strategies?
* Who among the list of signatories will be responsible for implementing
your strategy?
* Who conceived it?
* Who provided the theoretical research?
* Who will constitute the advisory committee?
Please submit an organization chart and qualifications of the principal
investigators.
You must include an evaluation design. We have been requiring this since
Queen Anne's War.
* What impact will your problem have? Your failure to include any
assessment of this inspires little confidence in the long-range
prospects of your undertaking.
Please submit all necessary diagrams, an activity chart, proposed time
line (w/at least 3 options), itemized budget, and manpower utilization
matrix.
We hope that these comments prove useful in revising your "Declaration
of Independence" in accordance with all TQM procedures.
We welcome the submission of your revised proposal. Our due date for
unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776. Ten copies with original
signatures will be required.
Sincerely,
Sir Thomas Moore
Management Analyst to the British Crown
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