Creation...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Thu, 14 Oct 1999 05:30:30 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya All...

Here's how it really was in the beginning...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


THE STORY OF CREATION
Source unknown.


1.  In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte.
    And from those he created the Word.

2.  And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed.
    And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.

3.  And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened.
    And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places.
    And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

4.  And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to
    put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.  Thus God created
    computers and called them hardware.

5.  And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small
    and big... 
    And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory.

6.  And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will
    make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and 
    Data.

7.  And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center;
    And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can
    use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE Windows.

8.  And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone.
    He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature
    that would look up at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer;
    and love the things the Programmer does;
    And God called the creature: the User.

9.  And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS
    and it was Good.

10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God.
    And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to
    run any programs?

11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every program
    and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will 
    die.

12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something you
    did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will become equal
    to God.  You will be able to create anything you like by a simple
    click of your mouse.

13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and 
    easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless since 
    Windows could replace it.

14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the
    Programmer that it was good.

15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers.
    And God asked him - What are you looking for? And the Programmer
    answered - I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them
    in the DOS. And God said - Who said that you need drivers? Did you 
    run Windows?
    And the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to!

16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated by
    all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you.
    And you will always sell Windows.

17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows will
    disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to 
    use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmer's 
    help.

18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the User
    you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you
    will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.

19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and
    secured it with a password.

20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT


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