The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Mon, 14 Sep 1998 10:22:35 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya People...
Here's some advice from men to women...listen up, girls...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*******************************************************
*******************************************************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.com ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
*** ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
ADVICE FROM MEN TO WOMEN
GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR
GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPEN UPON A COPY OF THIS:
1) The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage
location.
2) Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I
will come home with the wrong thing.
3) When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still
see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts
and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this
period as you stand a much better chance of getting an
immediate response.
4) When we are watching your show and I change the channels
during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to
change the channel back. I always know when the timing is
right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go
back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
5) If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to
carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is
half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.
6) If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do
something it is not necessary for you to call his
wife/girlfriend to discuss it.
5) If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And
I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that
reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet
and if I do it will be your fault.
6) I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
7) Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed.
And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no
matter what the occassion is. After all I am getting
dressed, not getting ready.
8) Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a
certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a
no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get
dressed while watching TV.
9) If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then
you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's
only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the
bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of
its own?
10) I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
11) Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium
crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.
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