The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 25 Jun 1997 21:32:16 +0100
Hiya Loonies...
Here are just a few ways to scare people in the computer room...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Ways to Scare People In the Computer Room
-----------------------------------------
Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place
them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them
around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of
cotton on plastic.
Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like
this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working
conditions.
Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and
continue working.
Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B
key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly.
Write an entire paper this way.
Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind
if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the
old ways are best.
Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you
see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your
fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit
his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do
this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume
hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've
deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly
exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole
time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and
leave.
Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and
complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put
some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer
is drooling.)
Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst
out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your
stuff and leave, howling as you go.
Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate
hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap
back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back
to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly
start to type again.
Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects.
Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead
doesn't work.
Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers
in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily,
exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this
after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard.
Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev
that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say "Give me
that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".