The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Thu, 22 May 1997 00:33:33 +0100
Hiya People...
Here's something on a new form of training...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
Memo to all employees.
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity,
it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to
give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T., please see
your boss. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T.
list, and the management will do it's utmost to assure that you get all
the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they became your bosses, they
don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)