The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Tue, 1 Apr 1997 19:04:30 +0100
Hiya Folks...
Here's a bit of aviation news, and some enlightenment on some US laws
relating to flying...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***<bloodaxe@bigfoot.com>***
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
*** ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
MISUNDERSTANDING
Cleveland, Ohio -- A doctor was convicted Tuesday of inciting public
panic when he walked out of an airport bar, grabbed a microphone and
announced that a terrorist bomb was inside Cleveland Hopkins
International Airport.
Dr. John Vance, 40, of Cortland, did not appear intoxicated, according
to the Cleveland police officer who arrested him.
About a dozen people in the airport's main lounge walked out after the
announcement. Vance apologized and called his public address joke a
"misunderstanding."
Cleveland Municipal Court Judge Robert Triozzi found Vance guilty and
scheduled sentencing for Nov. 12. He faces up to 180 days in jail and a
fine of up to $1,000.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
ACTUAL LAWS FROM A VARIETY OF PLACES IN THE UNITED STATES
Excerpts from Private Pilot, November 1987
It is against the law for a pilot to tickle a female flying student
under her chin with a feather duster in order to get her attention. --
Columbia, PA
It is a violation for a woman over 200 pounds and attired in shorts to
pilot or ride in an airplane. --Pocataligo, GA
Lingerie can't be hung on a clothesline at the airport unless the undies
are carefully hidden from prying eyes by a "suitable screen". --
Kidderville, NH
No female shall appear in a bathing suit at any airport in this state
unless she is escorted by two officers or unless she is armed with a
club. The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females
weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it
apply to female horses. --Kentucky
It is a violation of local law for any pilot or passenger to carry an
ice cream cone in their pocket while either flying or waiting to board a
plane. --Lowes Crossroads, Delaware
Pilots and passengers are prohibited from eating onions between the
hours of 7 A.M. and 7 P.M. --Bluff, Utah
Citizens are not allowed to enter an airplane within four hours of
eating garlic. --Wakefield, RI
No female wearing a nightgown can be taken for a flight on a private
plane. --Headland, AL
It is against the law to eat ice cream in the local airport with a fork.
--Bicknell, IN
No married man can go flying on Sunday. --Burdoville, VT
No married man can go flying without his spouse along at any time,
unless he has been married for more than 12 months. --West Union, OH
No one can play cards on the airport grounds with a woman, a child, or
an Indian. --White Horse, NM
No one -- man, woman, or child -- can be seen flying while barefoot.
--Fairplay, CO
Don't let your horse fall asleep in the airport. --Peewee, West
Virginia
Women who are single, widowed, or divorced are banned from parachuting
on Sunday. --Crawford, Nebraska
No turtle races shall be held at the airport. --Bourbon, Mississippi
People cannot play checkers at the airport, "lest they acquire a taste
for gambling." --Clearbrook, Minnesota
Citizens cannot carry a slingshot on an airplane without special
permission. --Okanogan, WA
No pilot can eat unshelled roasted peanuts or watermelon while flying.
--Leadwood, Missouri
No person is allowed to read the Sunday paper while sitting in a chair
at the airport while church services are going on. --Upperville, VA
No flyer may wear a pair of pants with hip pockets while flying. --
Guyman, OK
Gargling is prohibited while flying. --Hackberry, Arizona
Loud burping while walking around the airport is prohibited. --
Halstead, Kansas
It is against the law to sneeze in an airplane. --Lynch Heights,
Delaware
No flying instructor "can place his arm around a woman without a good
and lawful reason" (while flying). --Rock Springs, WY
Juggling in front of an airplane is illegal. --Wellsboro, PA
Roosters may crow, only if it is done at least 300 feet from the
airport. --Stugis, Michigan