Cars...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Wed, 30 Oct 1996 15:20:25 +0000


Hiya People...

Here's one from Alan...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
***                                                 ***
***                 THE LOONY BIN                   ***
***           loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk          ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
***                                                 ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
     
What your car says about you:
     
Acura Integra          - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports 
                           cars 
Acura Legend           - I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX              - I am impotent
Audi 90                - I enjoy putting out engine fires 
Buick Park Avenue      - I am older than 34 of the 50 states 
Cadillac Eldorado      - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman 
Cadillac Seville       - I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro       - I enjoy beating up people
Chevrolet Chevett      - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell'em 
                           I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette     - I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino    - I am leading a militia to overthrow the 
                           government 
Chrysler Cordoba       - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z            - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheelwell
Dodge Dart             - I teach third grade special education and I 
                            voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona          - I delivered pizza for four years to get this 
                            car 
Ford Fairmont          - (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang           - I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria    - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change
                            lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm              - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall. 
Geo Tracker            - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol          - I have always said, half a convertible is 
                            better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic            - I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord           - I lack any originality and am basically a 
                            lemming. 
Infiniti Q45           - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits 
                            pending. 
Isuzu Impulse          - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his 
                            reports. 
Jaguar XJ6             - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is 
                            in the garage 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia             - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu 
                            Corp. 
Lincoln Town Car       - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis  - (See above)
Mercedes 500SL         - I will beat you up if you ask me for an 
                            autograph 
Mercedes 560SEL        - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named 
                            Cole 
Mazda Miata            - I do not fear being decapitated by an
                            eighteen-wheeler
MGB                    - I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante    - I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX           - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. 
Oldsmobile Cutlass     - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a 
                            drug deal
Peugeot 505 Diesel     - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List 
Plymouth Neon          - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena 
Pontiac Trans AM       - I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 944            - I am dating big haired women who would 
                            otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow  - I think Pat Buchannon is a tad too liberal 
Saturn SC2             - (See Honda Civic)
Toyota Camry           - I am still in the closet
Volkswagen Beetle      - I still watch Partridge Family reruns 
Volkswagen Cabriolet   - I am out of the closet
Volkswagen Microbus    - I am tripping right now 
Volvo 740 Wagon        - I am frightened of my wife