News......

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Tue, 8 Oct 1996 21:25:55 +0100


Hiya All...

Here are some more strange news items from Alan...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


* The London insurance brokerage Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson
announced in August it would begin to offer policies to cover people
worried about alien abduction.  A premium of about $155 a year would pay
off about $160,000 to an abductee (provided the abductor was not from
Earth) and double that if the insured is impregnated during the
abduction.  Since alien powers are unknown, men can purchase the
impregnation rider, also. Said Goodfellow director Simon Burgess, "I
personally would not buy [this] policy." [Seattle Times-Reuters, 8-25-
96]

* Pushing the Envelope in Police Sex Stings:  In April, a sheriff's
spokesman in Fort Collins, Colo., admitted that police officers actually
engaged in sex with prostitutes during a January sting instead of making
the arrest at the point at which the women agreed to have sex for money.
Said the spokesman, "[T]he officers thought they needed to do what they
did to make the case."  
And in June, North Carolina's Alcohol Law Enforcement agents in
Jacksonville made similar admissions.  One agent testified that he put
his fingers on a woman's genitals in order to "feel it occurring."  Said
ALE's lawyer, "If this wasn't the proper role of law enforcement, I
don't know what is." [Fort Collins Coloradoan, 4-10-96][Durham Herald-
Sun-AP, 6-27-96; Asheville Citizen-Times, 8-8-96]

* Contest Mania:  In July, Pepsi Cola was sued by a Lynnwood, Wash., man
who took seriously the company's light-hearted offer to redeem seven
million premium points for a Harrier fighter jet in a "Pepsi Stuff"
promotion.  
And in August, a federal appeals court in St. Louis, Mo., forced
Nationwide Insurance Company to award a slogan-contest-winning ex-
employee "his-and-hers" Mercedes-Benzes despite the company's claim that
it was just kidding.  
And in July, David Lee filed a lawsuit against the Cafe Santa Fe in
Rogers, Ark., after it denied him a Kawasaki Jet Ski because he failed
to write a reason why he liked a certain menu item on his prize-winning
entry form.  Lee contends that the required "25 words or less" includes
"zero words." [Daily Oklahoman-AP, 7-25-96] [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 8-
3-96] [Macon Chronicle-Herald-AP, 7-26-96]

* Amid howls of protest, John Crutchley, 49, Florida's "vampire rapist"
and a beneficiary of the state's early-release prison program, was let
out on 50 years' probation in August after serving only 10 years in
prison for a heinous, blood-drinking rape in 1985.  However, Crutchley
violated probation by testing positive for marijuana use on the day of
his release.  Thus, he lost the benefit of early release, and for drug
use during probation, he was returned to serve the 50 years behind bars.
[Tampa Tribune-AP, 8-9-96]

* In Ottawa, Ohio, in May, church secretary Linda Siefer was sentenced
to two years in prison for a scheme in which she systematically removed
all twenty-dollar bills from the collection plates at St. Michael's
Catholic Church in Kalida, Ohio, over a four-year period.  Ms. Siefer
and her husband lived well above their combined $32,000 income, but the
scheme did not come to light until a bank employee thought it odd that
there were never any twenty-dollar bills in the church's deposits. [The
Daily Dunklin Democrat (Kennett, Mo.)-AP, 5-17-96]

* In April in Bedford, Va., John M. Kirby decided to show off to his
passengers as he drove by a group of police officers demonstrating drug
bust techniques to reporters.  Kirby yelled some trash talk, and the
officers, seeing Kirby's faulty taillight, chased him.  According to
police, Kirby had marijuana in the truck and a suspended driver's
license. [Roanoke Times, 4-26-96]

* In June, after an investigation, Montreal, Quebec, coroner Teresa
Sourour criticized the Fleury Hospital for its judgment in January not
to come immediately to the aid of a 75-year-old man who had suffered a
heart attack just outside the building. Hospital employees reportedly
discussed whether to go out in the minus-20-degree weather to help the
man but finally decided just to call an ambulance.  The man died a few
minutes later. [Sault Star-CP, 6-20-96]

* William Keith Fortner, 35, whom a judge put on probation last year for
sending three nude photos of himself to a nurse, pleaded guilty in St.
Louis, Mo., in July to sending another one--to the judge who gave him
the probation.  After the probation ended in February, Fortner left a
message on the female judge's voice mail that said:  "I really like you.
I hope you don't get upset with the picture I [am sending].  I hope you
remember me." [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 7-26-96]

* After a major riot in April at the Winnipeg, Manitoba, jail,
supervisors hired many temporary workers to clean up, and among those
who applied and was hired, according to the Winnipeg Sun, was Stephen
Lee Gressman, 30, who was at the time on Manitoba's 10-Most-Wanted list
for extortion and assault.  He worked a few days and left town just
before being identified. [Edmonton Journal-CP, 5-15-96]

* In July, Richard Gallagher was arrested in Mineola, N. Y., and charged
with aggravated harassment after making a telephone call to get help in
blowing up the high school where he had just lost his job as custodian.
The call he made was to a "Peter King," whose number Gallagher had
obtained from a friend.  Unknown to Gallagher, Peter King is a U. S.
Congressman.  Said Gallagher to police, "I thought he was one of the
boys." [New York Times, 7-17-96]

* Albuquerque, N. Mex., school teacher Scott Glasrud failed by two votes
(1,170-1,168) in the Republican primary for a state senate seat in June,
and the next month realized that his father-in-law's and mother-in-law's
votes for him had not been counted because a death in the family had
delayed their mailing in their write-in ballots. [Albuquerque Journal,
7-21-96]

* In August, Julian Carlo Fagotti, 30, kicked off his TV ad campaign for
a seat on the city council of Curitiba, Brazil, by standing before the
camera nude except for one of his brochures held in a strategic spot.
Said Fagotti, "[My opponents] are the ones to be ashamed [for how they
treat the voters]." [Reuters wirecopy, 8-15-96]

* In June, the Los Angeles Times profiled California chiropractor and
state assemblyman Martin Gallegos, who said he cheerfully offers free
chiropractic adjustments to his legislative colleagues and staff members
in his office and has treated at least a dozen Assembly members of both
parties. [L. A. Times, 6-19-96]

* News of the Weird reported in 1991 that the Avon, Colo., town council
had resorted to a contest to name the new bridge over Eagle River
linking I-70 with U. S. highway 6.  Sifting through 84 suggestions (such
as "Eagle Crossing"), the council voted, 4-2, to give it the official
name "Bob."  In August 1996, the Globe and Mail newspaper reported that
"Bob" is running in second place in an official contest to rename
Canada's Northwest Territories province after Nunavut becomes a separate
jurisdiction in 1999. [Globe and Mail, 8-13-96]

* In July, 58 worshipers, seeking divine protection on an astrologically
unlucky day, were crushed to death by other stampeding worshipers at two
Hindu shrines in the cities of Haridwar and Ujjain, India.  

And in August, a 9-year-old boy was crushed to death when a granite
tombstone fell over on him at a Bible school in Summerville, Ga.  
Also in August, according to police in New Orleans, Melvin Hitchens, 66,
who had been reading the Bible on his front porch, put it down, fetched
his gun, and shot to death a neighbour woman with whom he had been
feuding about the cleanliness of their yards. [Tuscaloosa News-AP, 7-16-
96] [Chattanooga Times-AP, 8-8-96] [Dallas Morning News-AP, 8-5-96]

Copyright 1996, Universal Press Syndicate.  All rights reserved. No
commercial use may be made of the material or of the name News of the
Weird.