The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sat, 17 Aug 1996 16:20:40 +0100
Hiya Folks... More advice on revenge... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ *****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***** *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Criminal Advice by Anita Lawyer WARNING - This may be satire. If you need legal advice, or any advice, for that matter, you should consult a professional. Free advice is worth what you pay for it. Dear Anita Lawyer, I am financially independent and want to do something really evil to someone. I don't like physical violence, but my intended victim, my ex- boyfriend, really deserves something creative. Money is no object, but I can't think of anything suitable for revenge. Help! A Woman Scorned Dear "A", Please feel free to send some of that money to me, care of this publication. As to your problem, this little gag is a favorite of mine. It takes some trouble, but is delicious. First, determine which photo processing outfit actually looks at the photos it develops. This can be done by submitting film to be developed (under a false name) containing ordinary photos and a few of nudes and drugs. If these come back without the "offensive" photos "not coming out" you have found your company. The next step is to rent a car that is the exact make, model, and color of your victim's. Paint a license plate on posterboard to match his and tape it over the real one. Find a young female you are sure he doesn't know, and drive to a remote location. Take several photos of the girl, in various provocative poses, with the car in the background. Make sure the license plate is visible in a couple of the shots. Then photograph the girl with a big knife apparently stuck in her, with lots of fake blood. Another shot of a shallow grave is a nice touch. Just put his name and address on the film envelope and drop off the film. He will have some very interesting questions to answer.