The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 5 Jun 1996 08:33:16 +0100
Hiya Guys & Gals...
A report on disciples...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
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*** THE LOONY BIN ***
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******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Qualifications for the perfect recruit
Memo to: Jesus, son of Joseph, Woodcrafters of Nazareth
From: Jordan Management Consultants of Jerusalem
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked
for management positions in your new organization. All of them have
completed our battery of tests and we have not only run the results
through our computer, but have also arranged personal interviews for
each of them with our psychological and vocational aptitude consultant.
The profiles of all tests are included; you will want to study them
carefully. As part of our service, and for your guidance, allow us some
general comments, much as an auditor would make general statements.
This is a result of staff consultation and without any additional fee.
It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in
background, education, and vocational aptitude for the type of
enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We
would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience
in managerial ability and proven capacity.
Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew
has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and
John, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates
a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. We feel
further that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been
blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. James, the
son of Alphas, and Thaddeus definitely have radical leanings, and they
both registered high scores on the manic-depressive scale.
One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of
ability and resourcefulness; meets people well, has a keen business mind
and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious, and
responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right
hand man.
We wish you every success in your new venture.