The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 15 May 1996 12:15:16 +0100
Hiya Guys & Gals...
Here's some more silliness...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded message follows -------
If an OS Ran Your Airplane
DOS Airline: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they
jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again,
then they push again, jump on again and so on.
DOS with QEMM Airline: The same thing but with more leg room to push.
Mac Airline: All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage
handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk
the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are
told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and that everything
will be done for you without you having to know, so just shut up.
OS/2 Airline: To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten
different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you
fill out a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plan
should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train, or
a bus. If you succeed in getting on board the plane and the plane
succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...
except for the times when the rudder and flaps get frozen in
position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and
get in crash position.
Windows Airline: The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with
friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane, and
a completely uneventful takeoff...then, once in the air, the plane
blows up without any warning whatsoever.
Win NT Airline: Everyone marches out on the runway, says the
password in unison, and forms the outline of an airplane. Then
they all sit down and make a whooshing sound like they're flying.
Unix Airline: Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when
they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put
the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what
kind of plane they're building.
Mach Airline: There is no airplane. The passengers gather and
shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A
bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with
them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane
together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of
plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving
the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting
and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the
passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they
have arrived.