The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 07 Feb 03 01:24:33 -0000
Hiya All...
Now it's time to add some more words to our workplace vocabulary
collection...these come from Andrew...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com *******
Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and
then leaves.
ASSMOSIS:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement
by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM:
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO:
The on-line answer to the couch potato.
SITCOM:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into
when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with
the kids.
STARTER MARRIAGE:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no
property and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPEOUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
IRRITAINMENT:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find
yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trial was a prime
example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the sh*t out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.
VULCAN NERVE PINCH:
The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for
some computer commands.
ADMINISPHERE:
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and
file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
GENERICA:
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter
where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake.
WOOFYS:
Well Off Older Folks
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