The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Thu, 28 Nov 02 00:45:23 -0000
Hiya Loonies...
This time we learn about some new medications which might be useful for
women...these were sent in by Kathleen...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com *******
Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to six hours.
EmptyNestrogen
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the
memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait
till they moved out.
Peptobimbo
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves
flirting.
Dumerol
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ causing
enjoyment of country western music.
Flipitor
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
urge to flip off other drivers.
Antiboyotics
When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving
grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines
as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?"
Buyagra
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-One-all
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so
severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or an Anna
Nicole Smith exercise video.
Jackasspirin
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.
Sexcedrin
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
headache," syndrome.
Ragamet
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging
on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it
herself
And the best:
Damitol
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
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