The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 16 Oct 02 02:07:46 +0100
Hiya People...
Here's one for the dog-showing folk in our midst...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com *******
Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Dog Breeder's Husband
I'm just a dog breeder's husband
I no longer rule my domain.
Even if kindly invited
from opinions I wisely refrain.
I'm just a glorified kennel boy
Of minor importance I know.
It seems my primary function
Is merely providing the dough.
Now dog breeding's not inexpensive
as you all no doubt are aware.
But the problem's not so much the money
as the bustle, the wear and the tear.
Having studied the layback of shoulder
and becoming an expert on feet
I still have not learned to give worm pills
or how much the puppy should eat.
My spouse will spend hours grooming
her Bred By Exhibitor bitch
but when it comes to scratching my back
her thought is to let the thing itch!
Someday I hope that my wife'll take me
wandering to some foreign vale
instead of inspecting the stifle
of some Special stud at Hinsdale.
Off in a crowded motel room
after the dog show is o'er
someone questions the judges decision
while they reach for another drink more.
It appears that his eyesight is failing
his errors in judgement immense.
In fact, if I did not know better
you'd doubt if he had any sense.
One finds that the amateur's bungling
is no match for professional skills.
A handler can hide what the owner admits
as he tries hard his conscience to still.
The din and the utter confusion
of everyone talking at once
leaves one weary, hoarse and irascible
and the next day a bleary eyed dunce.
Sometimes late in the evening
I'm asked if I do not agree
that Pottowattamie's Bridget
is somewhat out at the knee.
But before I can answer the question
I find my answer ignored.
For some inexplicable reason
my questioner's suddenly bored.
I'm only a dog breeder's husband
not that I mean to complain.
But I find certain aspects amazing
when I aspire my role to explain.
I know at least where I am going
I'm rapidly going to seed.
But I've learned all about Winner's Bitches
I married the Best of the Breed!
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