The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Fri, 30 Aug 02 03:08:23 +0100

Hiya Folks...

Judging figure skating can be a difficult task, but not for one Irish

Wishes & Dreams...


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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian
competitor, he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull
costume, performs some excellent leaps but without any great artistic
feel for the music. 
The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8; Russia 5.9; United States 5.5;
Ireland 6.0 
Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and stripes
costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He gets the crowd
clapping, but is not technically as good as the Russian. He slightly
misses landing a triple Salchow and loses the center during a spin. But
artistically it is a more satisfying performance. 
The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8; Russia 5.5; United States 5.9;
Ireland 6.0 
Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old donkey
jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies. He reaches the ice, trips
straight away and bangs his nose which starts bleeding. He tries to get
up, staggers a few paces then slips again. He spends his entire
'routine' getting up then falling over again. Finally he crawls off the
ice a tattered and bleeding mess. 
The Judges' scores read: Britain 0.0; Russia 0.0; United States 0.0;
Ireland 6.0 
The other 3 judges turn to the Irish judge and demand in unison, "How
the heck can you give that mess 6.0?" 
To which the Irish judge replies "You've got to remember, it's darn
slippery out there."

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