The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Sat, 30 Mar 02 03:09:40 -0000
Hiya Loonies...
We know about the Witches of the West and the North, and we saw the
Witch of the East disappear under a flying house, but we never saw the
Witch of the South...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
WITCH OF THE SOUTH
You all remember that in the movie "The Wizard of Oz", the wicked witch
of the East was killed by the falling house, the witch of the West
stalked Dorothy and was killed by water, and Glenda, the Witch of the
North helped Dorothy get home. There is no mention of the witch of the
South. Here's what she would probably be like:
CLOTHING
West: Black hat and cape
North: Pink formal dress
South: Tube top and spandex
NOTABLE FEATURES
West: Green Nose
North: Flawless Beauty
South: Beehive Hairdo
FAVORITE DRINK:
West: Potions
North: Morning Dew
South: Moonshine/Mint Julep
FOOD
West: Apples from talking trees
North: Poppies
South: Moon Pies
HOUSE
West: Large black castle
North: In the sky?
South: Why else would tornados be attracted to mobile homes?
TRANSPORTATION
West: Broom
North: Bubble
South: Pink Cadillac (That was a yellow bricked ROAD, not a sidewalk)
FRIENDS
West: Flying Monkeys
North: Munchkins
South: Hound Dogs
DESIRES
West: The ruby slippers
North: For Dorothy to learn her lesson
South: A full mouth of teeth
FEARS
West: Water, a house falling on her
North: She'll mess up her hair
South: Revenuers
WEAPONS
West: Ball of fire
North: Snow
South: Shot Gun
FAVORITE SAYINGS
West: I'll get you, my pretty
North: There's no place like home
South: Ya'll ain't from around here, are ya?
DEALING WITH PROBLEMS
West: Make Dorothy wait until the sand runs out on the hourglass
North: Make Dorothy run all over Oz looking for the Emerald City
South: Just click them heels, Darlin', and get yourself home
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