The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
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Sat, 11 Aug 01 00:55:32 -2300
Hiya People...
For the musicians among us...a little advice...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
For those of you who either play an instrument in an ensemble, band,
etc, or have a loved one who does, the following should come in handy!
Golden Rules For Ensemble Playing
1. Everyone should play the same piece.
2. Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether to take the
repeat. The audience will love this a lot!
3. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.
4. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the
others.
5. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play
out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
6. Take your time turning pages.
7. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).
8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
9. Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain
the admiration of the incompetent.
10. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed.
They are only there to embellish the score.
11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up.
Everything will work itself out in the end.
12. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we
should tune."
13. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music
is theirs.
14. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why
you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
15. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of
the original.
16. When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any
notes you have left. If you have notes left over, please play them on
the way home.
17. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played
with authority is an interpretation.
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
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