Bathroom Scale...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Tue, 19 Jun 2001 15:41:26 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya People...

Many people have a love-hate relationship with their bathroom
scale...here's some advice on how to deal with it...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


How To Lie To The Bathroom Scale
--------------------------------

1.  Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner... as well as in the 
    morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to see 
    how much weight you've lost overnight.
2.  Never weigh yourself with wet hair.
3.  When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, 
    blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, these things 
    can weigh at least a pound.
4.  Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are 
    always five pounds off...to your advantage.
5.  Always go to the bathroom first.
6.  Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.
7.  Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in, 
    completely naked, of course.
8.  Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a
    pound of hair (hopefully).
9.  Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has 
    to weigh something, right?).
10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the 
    towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and 
    slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's 
    worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd 
    stepped on normally.


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