The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Tue, 20 Mar 2001 01:31:47 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya Loonies... Once again, the law courts prove to be a source of the absurd... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. (One might wonder where some of the lawyers were educated...) Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. ### Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ### Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? ### Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. ### Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. ### Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. ### Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? ### Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? ### Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? ### Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? ### Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? ### Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? ### Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? ### Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ### Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ### Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. ### Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. ### Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? ### Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere. From: Disorder in the Court Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* Get PAID for the emails you already send and receive! http://www.mailround.com/ Referrer: andrea@bloodaxe.com ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com