Paddy & Saddam...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Sun, 18 Feb 2001 01:25:28 +0000


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya Loonies...

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It looks like further conflict may be brewing in the Gulf...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


"Hello Mr Hussein," a heavily Irish accented voice says, "This is Paddy
down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that I am
officially declaring war on you!!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replies, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, 
how big is your army?"

"At this moment in time," says Paddy, after a moments calculation,
"there's myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry and the 
entire dominoes team from the pub - that makes 8!"

Saddam sighs and says, "I must tell you Paddy that I have more than a 
million men in my army waiting to move on my word."

"Oh sh**!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day Paddy rings back. "Right Mr Hussein, the war
is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"

"What equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asks. 

"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor
from the farm."

Once more Saddam sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 16 
thousand tanks, 2 thousand mine layers, 14 thousand armoured cars and my
army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke."

"Bejaize!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day.

"Right Mr Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves
airborne! We've kitted out old Ted's cropsprayer with a couple of rifles
in  the cockpit .... and the bridge team have joined us as well!"

Once more Saddam sighs and says, "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10
thousand bombers and 20 thousand MIG 109 high manoeuvrability attack
planes and my military complex is surrounded by laser guided surface to
air missile sites. Oh! By the way, since we last spoke, my army has
increased to 2 million."

"Oh b******s!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day.

"Right Mr Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off
the war."

"I'm very sorry to hear that" says Saddam "Why the sudden change of
heart?"

"Well," says Paddy "We've all had a chat and there's no way we can cope
with 2 million prisoners!"


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