The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 18 Oct 2000 23:42:29 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya Loonies...
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Here are some women's random thoughts...some we've seen before, but
others are new to us...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics
class pulls a hamstring.
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and
forget where they left them.
One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman
gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know
what you're doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then,
your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and
setting my pantyhose on fire.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks
two sizes!
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all
that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said,
"Body, How'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous
toning?"
Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen witch...do it and die.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing
(and then they marry him).
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating
too much, smoking too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are
they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than
30 can fit into their stuff.
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
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