World Records...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Wed, 2 Feb 2000 22:21:39 +0000


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya All...

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Here are some unusual Records from Len...who doesn't think you'll find
them in the Guinness Book...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


SADDEST, REPETITIVE BENDER
Ben Smye-rumsby sent 678,531 dull e-mails to his 'friends' in just one
week, using only 1.8 pints of semen - some of it his own - for
sustenance.

MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los
Angeles in July 1991.

LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and
28 inches from her vagina.

MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely
insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.

ZIT POPPING
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and
projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch.

WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is
Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and
consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull
semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato
juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash
of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a
cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.

GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of seminal 
fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and
the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.

LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced
a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially
measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his
state.

MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially
recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.


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