The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 19 Jan 2000 16:35:33 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya Loonies...
Here's another list for you to look at:
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It would seem that our American friends are about to be subject to a
whole new range of beer warning labels...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Beer Warning Labels
Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have
accepted with congressional pressure the FDA's suggestion that the
following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
asshole.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your pants.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you
can't remember).
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named
FRANZ.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.
WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
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