The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 12 Jan 2000 11:10:29 +0000
Hiya People... Don't read this one while you're eating... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- REALLY GROSS Fascinating Facts Every year, parks in London alone are doused in one million gallons of dog urine. The germs present in human faeces can pass through up to ten layers of toilet paper. The best recorded distance for projectile vomiting is 27 feet. Contrary to popular belief, if you swallow chewing gum it does not stay in the gut. Usually it will pass through the system and be excreted without incident. However, several cases have been reported where the gum has stuck in the rectum, causing the unfortunate sufferer to excrete long sticky trails of gum, like a pink spider's web. Several well documented instances have been reported of extremely obese people flushing aircraft toilets whilst still sitting on them. The vacuum action of these toilets sucked the rectum inside out. It is possible to cough your guts up. If your body's natural defences failed, the bacteria in your gut would consume you within 48 hours, literally eating you from the inside out. What is one of the most difficult items for sewage works to handle, as it is insoluble, yet fine enough to pass through most filtration systems? (Every month Thames Water removes over a ton of this substance from its water treatment plants, whereupon it is taken away to a landfill site and buried.) You guessed it - pubic hair. Parasites count for 0.01% of your body weight. Henry II was murdered by his homosexual lover, who pushed a red hot poker 0.5 meters up his rectum. The longest recorded tapeworm found in the human body was 33 meters in length. A woman who had recently visited South America, where she had safaried in local rainforest, began to experience severe pains in her left ear, accompanied by headaches, dizziness and constant rustling sounds, at first put down to tinnitis. It became so serious that exploratory surgery was required, which revealed that a spider had become trapped in her ear. Eventually it had eaten through her eardrum and was living within the aural cavity. The rustling sounds were from the spider crawling around inside her skull. An egg sac was also removed... - Enjoy your Supper. Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com