The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 10 Sep 1999 02:08:18 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya All...
Here are some more of our favourite quotes to live by...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to
their diets.
- Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but
eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
- Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would
put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
- One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a
woman gain five pounds.
- It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
- I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
- The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the
right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.
- Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
- Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
- Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
- Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
- Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
consciousness.
- If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
- You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you
stop laughing.
- I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
- I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing
together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
- Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it
shrinks two sizes.
- It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your
hips.
- Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.
- The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is
expecting a baby.
- Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can
usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
- Can it be a coincidence that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled
backwards.
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
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http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
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