The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 23 Sep 1998 18:14:20 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya All...
There's nothing as funny as real life...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.com ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Actual Business Signs
=====================
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a
leak."
In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate action."
On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."
On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian
except the dog."
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're
looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."
At a Used Car Lot: "Second-hand cars in first crash condition."
On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -
miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear
you coming."
Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and
the 2nd one just left."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Back in 5 minutes. Sit!
Stay!"
On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in
your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"
On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come
in and get fed up."
Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin
drop."
On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll
wait."
In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise
is optional."
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