Rejected State Mottos...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Wed, 17 Sep 1997 10:48:47 -0400 (EDT)


Hiya People...

Here are some rejected mottos for US states...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

For those of you not in the United States, please use this as a 
vague guide when preparing your vacation to our country.

ALABAMA:     Literacy ain't everything   
             Ya want fries with dat?

ALASKA:      Come, freeze your butt off

ARIZONA:     Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds

ARKANSAS:    At least we're not Mississippi

CALIFORNIA:  The Granola State
             Nobody's actually from here
             Fast reloading lanes available
             The really long state

COLORADO:    Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
             Official home of the winter ski bunny

CONNECTICUT: Way too close to New York

DELAWARE:    You'll need a map to find us
             So close to Washington you can smell it

FLORIDA:     The Gunshine State
             Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
             Senior citizen discounts available
             Come, enjoy the humidity
             The snow capital of the US

GEORGIA:     Home of the Rednecks
             Gateway to Florida
             Confederate money welcome

HAWAII:      Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
             Book 'em Danno
             Tom Sellack, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!
             Come, get lei-ed

IDAHO:       Ain't nothing here
             We don't care if you spell potato with an "e"
             Land of a billion "eyes"

ILLINOIS:    Land of the voting dead
             Gateway to Iowa

INDIANA:     Home of David Letterman

IOWA:        Just east of Omaha
             It's easy to spell

KANSAS:      Hayfever capital of the Midwest
             Dole slept here
             There's no place like home
             Ya want flat, we got flat

KENTUCKY:    Tobacco is a vegetable
             We're all related
             Gateway to Nashville

LOUISIANA:   Swim the beautiful Bayou
             Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will never hurt you

MAINE:       For Sale
             You can spit on Canada from here

MARYLAND:    If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us

MASSACHUSETTS: Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the  
                 home of Ted Kennedy, hmmmm...

MICHIGAN:    Land of the free, home of the Buick

MINNESOTA:   Not Sweden, but we try to act like it
             Sure beats Canada
             Land of 10,000 Flakes

MISSISSIPPI: We're lucky we can spell it
             Why would you want to come here?

MISSOURI:    Gateway to Kansas
             Here's mine, Show Me yours
             We're better than Illinois

MONTANA:     Land of the Big Sky, and very little else
             We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods
             It's where you're wanted.
             At least our cows are sane.

NEBRASKA:    More corn than Kansas
             Go to Kansas, turn north

NEVADA:      More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too)
             2 words - Death Valley
             3:5 you'll leave broke
             We have our own nuclear testing site

NEW HAMPSHIRE: Like Old Hampshire, only newer
             About as exciting as Vermont

NEW JERSEY:  You have the right to remain silent,
             You have the right to an attorney...
             Tell 'em Guido sent ya

NEW MEXICO:  Lizards make excellent pets
             We have reservations
             Alien Welcome Center - Roswell

NEW YORK:    At least we're not New Jersey!
             We're more than a big city; we're a state
             Like we CARE about a motto
             English spoken here; sometimes

NORTH CAROLINA: Five million people; Fifteen last names
             We're bigger than South Carolina

NORTH DAKOTA: The OTHER South Dakota

OHIO:        Don't judge us by Cleveland
             Proud polluters of Lake Erie
             We're easy to spell

OKLAHOMA:    We're OK, you're NOT!
             I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto

OREGON:      As pretty as California but not as weird
             We're not named after a musical instrument
             You can see the sunset from here

PENNSYLVANIA: Cook with coal
             Free lube job with oil change

RHODE ISLAND: Size ain't everything
             Nobody famous came from Rhode Island

SOUTH CAROLINA: Just south of North Carolina

SOUTH DAKOTA: Closer than North Dakota

TENNESSEE:   The Educashun State
             Thank goodness we've still got Elvis
             A great fixer-upper

TEXAS:       Si Hablo Ingles
             See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

UTAH:        Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
             At least our sheep can't talk

VERMONT:     Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns

VIRGINIA:    Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!

WASHINGTON:  We like our state, so STAY OUT!

WEST VIRGINIA: Where "family values" has a different meaning

WISCONSIN:   Land of funny accents.
             Say "Cheeeese"

WYOMING:     Where men are lonely and sheep are scared


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