Aviation news...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Tue, 1 Apr 1997 19:04:30 +0100


Hiya Folks...

Here's a bit of aviation news, and some enlightenment on some US laws
relating to flying...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

MISUNDERSTANDING

Cleveland, Ohio -- A doctor was convicted Tuesday of inciting public
panic when he walked out of an airport bar, grabbed a microphone and
announced that a terrorist bomb was inside Cleveland Hopkins
International Airport.

Dr. John Vance, 40, of Cortland, did not appear intoxicated, according
to the Cleveland police officer who arrested him.

About a dozen people in the airport's main lounge walked out after the
announcement.  Vance apologized and called his public address joke a
"misunderstanding."

Cleveland Municipal Court Judge Robert Triozzi found Vance guilty and
scheduled sentencing for Nov. 12.  He faces up to 180 days in jail and a
fine of up to $1,000.


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ACTUAL LAWS FROM A VARIETY OF PLACES IN THE UNITED STATES
Excerpts from Private Pilot, November 1987

It is against the law for a pilot to tickle a female flying student
under her chin with a feather duster in order to get her attention. --
Columbia, PA

It is a violation for a woman over 200 pounds and attired in shorts to
pilot or ride in an airplane.  --Pocataligo, GA

Lingerie can't be hung on a clothesline at the airport unless the undies
are carefully hidden from prying eyes by a "suitable screen".  --
Kidderville, NH

No female shall appear in a bathing suit at any airport in this state
unless she is escorted by two officers or unless she is armed with a
club.  The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females
weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it
apply to female horses. --Kentucky

It is a violation of local law for any pilot or passenger to carry an
ice cream cone in their pocket while either flying or waiting to board a
plane. --Lowes Crossroads, Delaware

Pilots and passengers are prohibited from eating onions between the
hours of 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.  --Bluff, Utah

Citizens are not allowed to enter an airplane within four hours of
eating garlic.  --Wakefield, RI

No female wearing a nightgown can be taken for a flight on a private
plane. --Headland, AL

It is against the law to eat ice cream in the local airport with a fork.
--Bicknell, IN

No married man can go flying on Sunday.  --Burdoville, VT

No married man can go flying without his spouse along at any time,
unless he has been married for more than 12 months.  --West Union, OH

No one can play cards on the airport grounds with a woman, a child, or
an Indian.  --White Horse, NM

No one -- man, woman, or child -- can be seen flying while barefoot.
--Fairplay, CO

Don't let your horse fall asleep in the airport.  --Peewee, West
Virginia

Women who are single, widowed, or divorced are banned from parachuting
on Sunday.  --Crawford, Nebraska

No turtle races shall be held at the airport. --Bourbon, Mississippi

People cannot play checkers at the airport, "lest they acquire a taste
for gambling."  --Clearbrook, Minnesota

Citizens cannot carry a slingshot on an airplane without special
permission. --Okanogan, WA

No pilot can eat unshelled roasted peanuts or watermelon while flying.
--Leadwood, Missouri

No person is allowed to read the Sunday paper while sitting in a chair
at the airport while church services are going on.  --Upperville, VA

No flyer may wear a pair of pants with hip pockets while flying.  --
Guyman, OK

Gargling is prohibited while flying.  --Hackberry, Arizona

Loud burping while walking around the airport is prohibited.  --
Halstead, Kansas

It is against the law to sneeze in an airplane.  --Lynch Heights,
Delaware

No flying instructor "can place his arm around a woman without a good
and lawful reason" (while flying).  --Rock Springs, WY

Juggling in front of an airplane is illegal.  --Wellsboro, PA

Roosters may crow, only if it is done at least 300 feet from the
airport. --Stugis, Michigan