Limericks...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Mon, 10 Feb 1997 16:38:42 +0000


Hiya All...

Here are a collection of limericks for you...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***<bloodaxe@bigfoot.com>***
***                                                 ***
***                 THE LOONY BIN                   ***
***           loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk          ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
***                                                 ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

A limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical. 
         But the good ones I've seen 
         So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical. 


Limericks are art forms complex, 
Their topics run chiefly to sex.
         They usually have virgins, 
         And masculine urgin's,
And other erotic effects.


A dozen, a gross, and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four, 
         Divided by seven,
         Plus five time eleven,
Equals nine squared plus zero, no more.
     
     
'Tis a favourite project of mine
A new value for pi to assign.
         I would fix it at 3,
         For it's simpler, you see,
Than 3.14159.

     
It need'nt have ribaldry's taint
Or strive to make everyone faint.
         There's a type thats demure
         And perfectly pure
Though it helps quite a lot if it ain't.
     
     
The limerick is furtive and mean;
You must keep her in close quarantine, 
         Or she sneaks to the slums
         And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
     
One witty writer of clever, as opposed to crude, limericks, was
Monsignor Ronald Knox.  He wrote the following in respect to Bishop
Berkley's idea that things exist only when observed:
     
There once was a man who said: 'God
Must think it exceedingly odd
         If he finds that this tree
         Continues to be
When there's no one about in the Quad.'
     
The reply to this is usually also attributed to Knox:
     
Dear Sir, Your astonishment's odd;
I'm always about in the Quad;
         And that's why this tree
         Will continue to be
Since observed by Yours Faithfully, God.