On Lobster Cooking...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sun, 2 Feb 1997 00:54:14 +0000


Hiya Folks...

Some people like eating lobster, but don't like cooking it - here's a
hint...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


Lobster:

        Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks
are squeamish about placing them into boiling water alive, which is
the only proper method of preparing them.  

Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your guilt is to establish theirs
by putting them on trial before they're cooked.  

The fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on the sea
floor, and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs.  

Grasp the lobster behind the head, look it right in its unmistakably
guilty eyestalks and say, "Where were you on the night of the 21st?",
then flourish a picture of a scallop or a sole and shout, "Perhaps this
will refresh that crude neural apparatus you call a memory!"  

The lobster will squirm noticeably.  It may even take a swipe at you
with one of its claws.  Incorrigible.  

Pop it into the pot. Justice has been served, and shortly you and your
friends will be, too.


               -- "Cooking: The Art of Using Appliances and Utensils
                   into Excuses and Apologies"