The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sun, 5 Jan 1997 05:35:37 +0000
Hiya All...
Here's a list of signs which might give you the clue that your marriage
was in trouble...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
14 WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE
1. Your wife packs a condom in your lunch bag.
2. When your wife says, "We had sex last month, Pervert!"
3. When you hear, "Oh Bill, hurt me, baby!" and your name is Dave.
4. When your wife's closest girl friend rides a Harley and subscribes
to "Succulent Kitten" Magazine.
5. When your toy poodle starts to growl every time you hug your wife.
6. When your Pit Bull stops barking at the mailman.
7. When you call for the phone company and the repairman skids to a
stop in front of your house 3 minutes later.
8. When the pizza man shows up with a hard on.
9. When the gardener demands to know what you're doing home on a
Tuesday.
10. When your kids starts calling the butcher uncle Wolfgang.
11. When your wife's "back massager" feels like real skin, and has
protruding veins on it.
12. When your wife tries to explain away her frequent headaches by
telling you it's brain cancer.
13. When you wake up to find your wife standing over you with a pair of
heavy-duty hedge clippers.
14. When you're invited to attend "What a bummer!" day on the Rickie
Lake Show.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
COUNSELING
John and Mary visit their pastor for marriage counseling.
The pastor gets up and hugs Mary, and sits down. He gets up and hugs
Mary a second, and third time, and then turns to John and says, "See
that, John. Mary needs that EVERY DAY!"
John replies, "Well, that's fine, Pastor. But I can't bring her over
here except on Tuesdays and Thursdays."