Words...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Fri, 29 Nov 1996 14:36:53 +0000


Hiya People...

Here are some new words for your dictionaries...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

GENERATION X BABY BIZSPEAK

Dilberted
---------
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences
of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted
again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

Link Rot
--------
The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as the sites
they're connected to change location or die.

Object Value
------------
In industrial design, a measure of consumers' immediate desire for an
object, even before they know or understand what it does. "Gassee may be
nuts, but at least the BeBox has great object value."

Chip Jewelry
------------
A euphamism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into
decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now it's
nothing but chip jewelry."

Crapplet
--------
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30
minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"

Plug-and-Play
-------------
A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is great.
He's totally plug-and-play."

World Wide Wait
---------------
The real meaning of WWW.

CGI Joe
-------
A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and
charisma of a plastic action figure.

Dorito Syndrome
---------------
Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive
substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours
surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."

Under Mouse Arrest
------------------
Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. "Sorry
I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."

Glazing
-------
Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime at
conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that half the
room was glazing by the second session?"

404
---
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message "404, URL Not
Found" meaning that the document you've tried to access can't be
located. "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."

Dead Tree Edition
-----------------
The paper version of a publication available in both paper and
electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San Francisco
Chronicle..."

Egosurfing
----------
Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers looking for
the mention of your name.

Graybar Land
------------
The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing
something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the
screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to
that CAD rendering."

Juice A Brick
-------------
To recharge the big, heavy NiCad batteries used in portable video
cameras. "You better start juicing those bricks, we've got a long shoot
tomorrow."

Open-Collar Workers
-------------------
People who work at home or telecommute.

Shopper-Lifting
---------------
When a store's electronic scanner (usually inadvertantly) prices an item
higher than the price on the store's shelf or in an advertisement.

Squirt The Bird
---------------
To transmit a signal up to a satellite. "Crew and talent are ready...
what time do we squirt the bird?"

Brain Fart
----------
A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly. A
burst of useful information.  "I know you're busy on the Microsoft
story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?" Variation
of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.

Cobweb Site
-----------
A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time.  A dead
web page.

It's a Feature
--------------
>From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically to
describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.

Keyboard Plaque
---------------
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
"Are there any other terminals I can use?  This one has a bad case of
keyboard plaque."

Batmobiling
-----------
Putting up an emotional shield just as a relationship enters that
intimate, vulnerable stage. Refers to the retractable armor covering the
Batmobile.

Career-Limiting Move (CLM)
--------------------------
Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your
boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Elvis Year
----------
The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney the dinosaur's Elvis
year was 1993."

Midair Passenger Exchange
-------------------------
Grim air-traffic-controller speak for a head-on collision. Midair
passenger exchanges are immediately followed by "aluminum rain."

Alpha Geek
----------
The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an office or
work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."

Vomit Comet
-----------
A plane used to simulate zero-G for astronaut flight training. Trainees
often get motion sickness inside.

Adminisphere
------------
The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rack and
file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

Tourists
--------
People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from their
jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the rest were
tourists."

Blowing Your Buffer
-------------------
Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking
with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so
astonishing that your train gets derailed.  "Damn, I just blew my
buffer!"

Begathon
--------
A TV or radio fund-raiser for a charity, religious organization, or PBS
station that employs every known form of guilt, sweet talking, and
outright begging to get people to fork over the dough.

Gray Matter
-----------
Older, experienced business people hired by young entrpreneurial firms
looking to appear more reputable and established.

Bookmark
--------
To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor borrowed from
web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at
Siggraph."

Nyetscape
---------
Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.

Beepilepsy
----------
The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off,
especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy
facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

Client-Server Action
--------------------
Geek euphamism for having sex. "I went to the Oracle party the other
night hoping for some client-server action."

Salmon Day
----------
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed in the end.