The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sun, 24 Nov 1996 18:01:51 +0000
Hiya Loonies... Here's how men choose a urinal... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************* *****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***** *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ *** *** *** *******************Internet Goddess******************** **********************ANDROMEDA************************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- (by Dave Barry) Take the first annual, Choose-A-Urinal Challenge! Men should ace this test (or suffer the wrath of men everywhere)...women are on their own. But, there IS a code of the restroom that MUST be followed. The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use." (Sample) | | | x | | | x | indicates men are at stalls 3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | and 6. ------------------------- You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck! -------------------- Easy Section -------------------- 1) | | x | | x | | | (Stalls 2 and 4 occupied.) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: __ (don't page down until you've chosen!) 1 (easy). 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this. 2) | x | | | | | | (1 occupied.) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: __ (don't page down until you've chosen!) 2 (easy). 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later. ------------------------- Kind of Tricky Section ------------------------- 3) | | | | | | | (empty) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | -------------------------- Your choice: __ (don't page down until you've chosen!) 3 (kind of tricky). 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me." 4) | | x | | x | | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: ___ (don't page down until you've chosen!) 4 (kind of tricky). 1 You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. --------------------------------------------- Subtle, Tricky, But Important To Know Section --------------------------------------------- 5) | | x | | | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: __ (don't page down until you've chosen!) 5 (HARD!). 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couple" you with the guy in stall 2. This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice to say, only we men would understand! ----------------------------- VERY Tricky Indeed Section ----------------------------- 6) | x | x | | | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: ___ (don't page down until you've chosen!) 6 (DAMN HARD!). NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD...for god's sake, man!...use a doored stall. Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals: -- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse. -- Absolutely NO touching of anyone else. Even the slightest touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense. -- NO Singing. Period. -- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again."