Breaking up...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sun, 24 Nov 1996 18:01:01 +0000


Hiya People...

Here's how folks in the different areas of study do their breaking up...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
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**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


                  BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO
          Especially When You Share the Same Major!


PSYCHOLOGY:   Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for 
              his Mother.

SOCIOLOGY:    Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.

RELIGION:     Each prays for reconciliation and/or curses God

ARCHAEOLOGY:  One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of
              trying to dig it up.

THEATRE:      "OH MY GOD!  Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"

BIOLOGY:      "You just wanted to get in my genes!"

PHYSICS:      Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must
              come down.

JOURNALISM:   "Today was the end of an era.  Jack, 19, and Jill, 18,
               called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..."

WOMEN'S STUDIES:  "HE did it!"

BUSINESS:     Both decide that they're spending way too much money
              together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single.

ITALIAN:      "Mama Mia!"

HISTORY:      Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the
              other party did in the past.

GEOGRAPHY:    Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each
              other.

ANATOMY:      "I never liked your body anyway."

ECONOMICS:    One party demands more than the other can supply.

ENGLISH:      Each writes the other a perfect breakup letter, complete
              with introduction, thesis, body, and conclusion, that
              doesn't really say anything substantively intelligible.

EDUCATION:    Both concede that the relationship was a learning 
              experience.

COMPUTING:    "Man, this bytes -- we just couldn't interface" and/or
              "His hard drive was more like a floppy."

E. ENGINEER:  "It's just so shocking... I'm sure there are positives and
               negatives, but..."

ARCHITECTURE: "There just wasn't much to build on anyway..."

JEWISH STUDIES:  "OY!  You should feel so guilty!"

PHILOSOPHY:   If 2 people break up in a dorm and there's no one to
              witness the breakup, are they really single?

ZOOLOGY:      They were able to mate like banshees, but lacked
              sophisticated communication skills.

PHYS. ED.:    They punch each other out in frustration.

CHEMISTRY:    They turn to hard drugs to relieve the pain.

COUNSELING:   Each urges the other to "get help!"

MUSIC:        Each utilizes an operatic lament (or, in Tennessee, a
              country song) to express his or her sorrow.

LAW:          They sue each other for breach of a pre-dating agreement.