The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 20 Nov 1996 15:20:09 +0000
Hiya Folks... Here are some new driving laws...written to take into account current driving habits in North Carolina... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************* *****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***** *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ *** *** *** *******************Internet Goddess******************** **********************ANDROMEDA************************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- The following is a summary of the new driving laws to be implemented immediately in the state of North Carolina: -Passing is only allowed in the right lane -When driving in the left lane, you must keep pace with the car in the right lane. -When you are confused, stop. -Directionals are forbidden except when cruising in the left lane of a major highway. -Changing lanes from the left driving lane to a left turn lane is only permitted a maximum of 10 feet from the intersection and/or when another vehicle is almost there, and there is just enough space for you to squeeze in. -If you are not sure where you are, stop. -When driving on a double yellow road without a passing lane, you must go at least 15 miles/hour under the speed limit. -It is now permitted to make a right turn from the left lane without any notice or warning. -If someone is trying to turn on to a road that you are driving on, you must go fast enough to get in the way and slow enough to allow the traffic behind you to do the same. -When looking for something, stop. -Never accelerate -If your car is REALLY big (i.e. Buick Century, Chrysler New Yorker, any Cadillac or Lincoln or if your hair is blue) 6 mph is the maximum you may drive. -Brakeing at every intersection is not only safe for the imaginary animals crossing the street, but a great idea! -For no reason, stop. -Never signal or give an indication of your next move, its a jungle out there and god forbid you let your strategy out. -Always cut off trucks and semis, they can stop on a dime. -When using the beltline, you must break down and leave your car on the off ramp (preferably blocking traffic). -All major roadways are perfectly good parking lots.(e.g. Hillsborough street) -When pulled over by a member of our brave, fearless and dedicated law enforcement agency, you must stop in the middle of traffic. Don't forget your hazards, its the all encompassing excuse. -If its tuesday, stop. -If you need a drivers license, do not wait in line at the DMV, do what everyone else here does and get it in the bottom of a Fruit Loops box. Joke written by jleconte@mailgate.seer.com