The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 13 Sep 1996 03:28:20 +0100
Hiya Loonies...
This one's from Alan...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
THE FOLLOWING NOTICES APPEARED IN THE CLASSIFIED ADS...
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234.
Leave mess.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large
drawers.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to
take
home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by
hand.
For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
Great Dames for sale.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in
the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other
athletic facilities.
Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and
smacks included.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll
never
go anywhere again.
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross
and salary.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for
efficient
beating.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for
$1.00.