The complete guide to cows...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Wed, 28 Aug 1996 00:24:40 +0100


Hiya Loonies...

Here's a collection of bovines...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
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***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
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*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


            --==>>  THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS  <<==--
                 as you've NEVER seen them before!
                  ________________________
         (__)    /                        \     * OFFICIAL EDITION *
         (oo)   (  November 1995 Version!  )
  /-------\/  --'\________________________/   * WORLDWIDEDISTRIBUTION *
 / |     ||
*  ||----||
   ^^    ^^
    Cow
- - -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
         (__)             (__)             (__)             (__)
         (oo)             (oo)             (oo)             (oo)
  /-------\/-*     /-------\/       /-------\/   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 / |     || \     )*)(\/* /  *     / |     ||
*  ||----||  *   \ |||/)|/()(    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\/|(/)(/\/(,,/   \)|(/\/|)(/\
  Cow munching   Grass munching   Cow in water       Cow in trouble
    on grass         on cow
          (__)             (__)    *        (__) *      (__)
          (oo)             (oo)     \       (oo) |      (oo)
  /--------\/      /-oooooo-\/       \-------\/  \-------\/
 * o|     ||      * ooooooooo     o  o|     ||   /     ||
    ||----||     ooooooooooooo        ||----||>==/-----||
 ooo^^    ^^    ooooooooooooooooo     ^^    ^^         ^^
  Cow taking      Cow in deep         Cow getting the shit
    a shit            shit             kicked out of her

         (__)
         (oo)                       U
  /-------\/                    /---V
 / |     ||                    * |--|                       .
*  ||----||
   ^^    ^^
Cow at 1 meter.         Cow at 100 meters.        Cow at 10,000 meters.

         (__)                     )__(                vv    vv
         (oo)                     (oo)                ||----||  *
  /-------\/               *-------\/                 ||     | /
 / |     ||               / |     ||                 /\-------/
*  ||----||              /  ||----||                (oo)
   ^^    ^^                 vv    vv                (~~)

American Cow              Polish Cow            Australian Cow

         (__)                     (__)                     (__)
         (oo)                ____ (oo)                _---_(oo)
  /-------\/               /-    --\/               /-     -\/
 / |     ||               / |     ||               /|      ||
*  ||----||              *  ||___-||              *  ||___-||
   ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^

Freshman Cow at          Freshman Cow             Freshman Cow
start of school     After the "Freshman 15"    After the "Freshman 20"

         (__)                     (__)                     (__)
         (OO)                     (@@)                     (xx)
  /-------\/               /-------\/               /-------\/
 / |     ||               / |     ||               / |     ||
*  ||----||              *  ||----||              *  ||----||
   ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^

Cow who drank Jolt      Cow who ate          Cow who used Jolt to wash
                    psychadelic mushrooms    down psychadelic mushrooms

                                         /\                  __
                                        /  \                 ||
             (__)                 (__)  \  /               (_||_)
             SooS                 (oo)   \/                 (oo)
      /------S\/S          /-------\/    /S          /-------\/
     / |     ||           / |     ||    /  S        / |     ||
    *  ||----||          *  ||----||___/    S      *  ||----||
       ^^    ^^             ^^    ^^                  ^^    ^^
    This cow belonged     Ben Franklin owned       Abe Lincoln's
  to George Washington       this cow                   cow

                                                 (__)
         *        (__)                           (oo)
          \       (oo)                     /------\/
           \-------\/                     /|  |/  |
            | ==$ ||                     / |  [) ||
            ||----||                    *  ||----||
            ^^    ^^                       ^^    ^^
     Old "One Arm" belonged           This cow was given to
       to Ceasar's Palace           Hugh Hefner for his Birthday

                  (___)               (__)      (__)
                  ( O )               (oo)      (oo)
           /-------\ /                 \/--------\/
          / |     ||V                   |        |
         *  ||----||                    ||------||
            ^^    ^^                    ^^      ^^
  The cyclops that Jason and         This cow lived with
the Argonauts met had this cow          Dr. Doolittle

             (__)                   (__)
             [##]                   (@o)
      /-------\/             /-------\/              /-------  (__)
     / |     ||             / |     ||              / |     || (oo)
    *  ||----||            *  ||----||             *  ||----|---\/
       ^^    ^^               ^^    ^^                ^^    ^
 This cow belonged      This cow lived with      This cow belonged to
  to Flash Gordon       the Little Rascals       the Headless Horseman

                 (____)            (____)                       (____)
                 (oo  )            (o  o)                       ( O O)
      /-----------\  /       /-----\    /----        /-----------\  /
     / ||       |  \/       / |   |  \/   |         / ||       |  \/
    /  ||       ||||        \ |  |      | | |      /  ||       ||||
   *   ||||-----||||         *| | |-----| | |     *   ||||-----||||
       /\/\     /\/\          /\ /\     /\ /\         ^^^^     ^^^^
This cow belonged       This was Salvador       No one was sure whether
to Pablo Picasso       Dali's favorite cow    M.C. Escher's cow had four
                                                    legs or eight

               O__O                             \_|_/
               (oo)                             (oo)
        /-------\/                       /-------\/
       / |     ||                       / |     ||
      *  ||----||                      *  ||----||
         ^^    ^^                         ^^    ^^
    Cow at Disneyland         Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty

                        (__)                        (__)
                ^^      (oo)                        (--)
            ^^^^ /-------\/                        /-\/-\
         ^^^^^  / |     ||                        /|    |\
       ^^^^^   *  ||----||                       ^ |    | ^
    ^^^^^^^^  ====^^====^^====                     |    |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^/                                     /----\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^                                /    \ \
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^               ^      * ^
     Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu           Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale
                                             (What a bod, huh guys?)

               )\               (__)
              /  \              (oo)
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
           Cow swimming at Amityville
(Where Jaws was filmed, for those less educated)

        *                                                 (__)
         \                                                (DD)
          \                                        /-------\/
          |\                                      / |     ||_\_/
        \ | \ (__)                               *  ||----|
        \\|| \(oo)                                  ^^    ^
         \||\ \\/                      Cow chugging brews and staring at
          ^^ \||                         sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale
           \\ ||
            \\||
             \||
              ^^                                 / / / / / / / / / / /
               \\_                              / / / / / / / / / / / /
                \_                              / / / / / _______   / /
 Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen            / / /    /   |   \  / /
                                                / / /    (__)|      / /
                                                / / /    (oo)|      / /
   ( @@@ )                                        /-------\/ |
    ( @@ )            (------------)             / |     ||^_|
       @@  (__)       (  *>COUGH<* )            *  ||----|
        @@ (oo) . . . (  *>COUGH<* )               ^^    ^
     /--UU--\/        (____________)
    / |    ||                        Cow sheltering from English Weather
   *  ||---||

  (New) Jersey Cow
                       O O                 O O
                        \ \               / /
                         \ \          (__) /
          (__)            \ \         (xx)/
          (DD)             \ +--------+\//
   /-------\/               \|        | /
  / |     ||                 +--------+
 *  ||----||
    ^^    ^^
Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
            at Gillies in Texas

         o  o
         |__|               (__)             (__)
         (oo)               (oo)            =(oo)=         oo
  /-------\/         /-------vv       /-------\/
 / |     ||         / |     ||       / |     ||
*  ||----||        *  ||----||      *  ||----||
   ~~    ~~           ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~
bill bixby          bela lugosi      boris karloff  claude rains
male relative cow   cow              cow            cow

                       x
                   xxxx|xxxx
                xxxxxxx|xxxxxxx
                       |
                      //
                (__) //                        (__)   (__)
                (oo)//                         (oo)===(oo)
         /-------\//                    /-------\/     \/-------\
        / |     |//                    / |     ||       ||     | \
       *  ||----|                     *  ||----||       ||----||  *
          ^^    ^^                       ^^    ^^       ^^    ^^
     Julie Andrews Cow                         Siamese cows

                            o        o             (__)    ^
                             \      /              (oo)   /
                              \    /           _____\/___/
             (__)              \__/           /  /\ / /
             (oo)       _______(oo)          ^  /  * /
    /---------\/       /|  ___  \/             / ___/
   / | x=a(b)||       / | {   }||         *----/\
  *  ||------||      *  ||{___}||             /  \
     ^^      ^^         ||-----||            /   /
                        ^^     ^^           ^    ^

    Mathematical        Television      This cow does Disco
        Cow                 Cow        (That's what comes of
   (developer of        (Cow-thode      snorting cow-caine)
     cow-culus)          Ray Tube)

            o
            | [---]
            |   |
            |   |                              |------========|
       /----|---|\                             | **** |=======|
      /___/___\___\                         o  | **** |=======|
      |            |                     ___|  |==============|
      |           |                ___  {(__)} |==============|
      \-----------/             [](   )={(oo)} |==============|
       \  \   /  /             /---===--{ \/ } |
    -----------------         / | NASA  |====  |
    |               |        *  ||------||-----^
    -----------------           ||      |      |
      /    /  \   \             ^^      ^      |
     /     ----    \
      ^^         ^^           This cow jumped over the Moon

                (__)
               ([][])            "I have this recurring dream
               __\/_--U              about golden arches."..  (__)
              /\    \__                                 ^  :..("")
             /\\\  /  /                         //\  ____\_____\/ //
            /----^/__/\ /\                     // \\/     \___ / //
                \\\____/--\--                 // /-/__________/ //
                 /======   \/            =======/==============//
              *_/ /    \   /^              //  /              \\
                 /      \ ^               //                   \\

                     Psycowlogist and patient

                                               (___)
          \^^^^^^^^\   (__)                    (o o)
           \^^^^^^^^\\ (oo)                     \ /
        *-----\_______\/\/                    \--O--/
      ^_______/   ---  \______^              // -----\
     ^--------\   \S/  /\_____^              \\/_^{} /==V===[]
               \______/                        \_____\\//
                                                \__/
   It's a bird...                               //\\         The Boss
    It's a plane...                            //  \\   (Bruce Holstien)
                                              //   //
                                             ^^    ^^
                                          ==================
 _____________________________            H                H
 |             |-------------|            H     (__)       H
 |             |   ________  |            H     (oo)       H       __
 |   COWNTY    |  | (|__|) | |            H    / \/ \      H     /    \
 |    JAIL     |  |  |oo|  | |            H   | |  | |     H    | STOP |
 |             |  |__|\/|__| |            H   D===b=-----  H     \ __ /
 |             | o           |            H^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H       ||
 |             | ^           |            H                H       ||
 |             | ]           |            H                H       ||

Q: How can you tell when a cow is laughing?

A: Because milk comes out its nose