Advice for Revenge...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sat, 17 Aug 1996 16:20:40 +0100


Hiya Folks...

More advice on revenge...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Criminal Advice

by Anita Lawyer  

WARNING - This may be satire. If you need legal advice, or any advice,
for that matter, you should consult a professional. Free advice is worth
what you pay for it.

Dear Anita Lawyer,

I am financially independent and want to do something really evil to
someone.  I don't like physical violence, but my intended victim, my ex-
boyfriend, really deserves something creative.  Money is no object, but
I can't think of anything suitable for revenge. Help!

                                               A Woman Scorned

Dear "A",

Please feel free to send some of that money to me, care of this
publication.  As to your problem, this little gag is a favorite of mine.
It takes some trouble, but is delicious.  

First, determine which photo processing outfit actually looks at the
photos it develops.  This can be done by submitting film to be developed
(under a false name) containing ordinary photos and a few of nudes and
drugs.  If these come back without the "offensive" photos "not coming
out" you have found your company.  

The next step is to rent a car that is the exact make, model, and color
of your victim's. Paint a license plate on posterboard to match his and
tape it over the real one. Find a young female you are sure he doesn't
know, and drive to a remote location.  

Take several photos of the girl, in various provocative poses, with the
car in the background.  Make sure the license plate is visible in a
couple of the shots.  Then photograph the girl with a big knife
apparently stuck in her, with lots of fake blood.  Another shot of a
shallow grave is a nice touch.  

Just put his name and address on the film envelope and drop off the
film.  He will have some very interesting questions to answer.